Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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