i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
