3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
