Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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