Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
