i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize