wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I enjoy the company of your penis
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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