I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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