You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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