mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
