This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
