I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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