Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
