I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
