i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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