Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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