Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Im part way to drunk.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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