your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
