So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
