She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
