and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
