once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
