How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
MIDGETS
????
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
