...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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