i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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