You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
