dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize