Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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