Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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