WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
