but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
