It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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