I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
