Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
