Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
