so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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