Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
