If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
