You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
