the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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