she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
