This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
