I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
