so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
accomplished twins. life is a go
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
