if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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