The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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