the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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