Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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