Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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