the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my poor anus
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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