You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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