I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
