I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
