What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
