uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
jump out the window naked night went bad
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
