Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
