i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
