just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
