Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
