i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
