Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i drank out of a bidet.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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