At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
