I need to stop coming to work sober
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
